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The Best Superpower

In this episode of Summary Judgment, Josh and Aaron ponder which superpower would be most advantageous in the practice of law.

Listen here or read the transcript below. FVF’s Summary Judgment podcast is available wherever you listen to podcasts including Apple Podcasts, Spotify, iHeart Radio, and more.

0:00:00.0 Aaron: Hey, Josh.

0:00:01.3 Josh: Oh, hey Aaron.

0:00:01.7 Aaron: Name all the superpowers right now.

0:00:03.6 Josh: Oh, man. Throwing cards that explode. [laughter] Having titanium claws that come outta your hands. Flying.

0:00:13.3 Aaron: The real… No. Yeah. Okay, now we’re talking.

0:00:15.0 Josh: Electromagnetic radiation.

0:00:18.4 Aaron: Now we’re talking.

0:00:19.9 Josh: Flight.

0:00:21.2 Aaron: Shape-shifting.

0:00:22.4 Josh: Dodging bullets.

0:00:23.8 Aaron: Stopping time.

0:00:25.7 Josh: Flight. [laughter] Being able to manipulate the ocean.

[laughter]

0:00:33.4 Aaron: Wait, that’s good.

0:00:34.4 Josh: Thank you. Oh, spiderwebs out of the arms.

0:00:37.4 Aaron: So I was, I already had an idea of what the best lawyer superpower would be.

0:00:41.7 Josh: Turning blue.

0:00:42.8 Aaron: But now that you said manipulate the ocean, I, I’m like, how could I apply…

0:00:46.4 Josh: Getting big and green and destroying everything in your path. [laughter]

0:00:52.8 Aaron: What would, what superpower would you like to use if you were to have one superpower? Frankenstein is not a superpower.

0:01:03.8 Josh: I was hulking out.

0:01:04.7 Aaron: Oh, I see. Oh, so in court you would just Hulk all the way out [laughter] and dare the judge to call you in contempt. Like, just try it judge.

0:01:17.4 Josh: I think I’d probably be more likely to use it if I had screwed something up and I needed mistrial.

0:01:23.5 Aaron: I’m gonna tell you right now, the best superpower. Everyone’s thinking that as a lawyer you’re gonna say invisibility ’cause we’re supposed to be sneaky, behind like we’d get in the jury deliberation room.

0:01:37.4 Josh: That’s exactly what I was gonna say.

0:01:37.8 Aaron: Like, go, go in the judge’s chamber, get in opposing counsel’s conference rooms and…

0:01:42.6 Josh: All sorts of unethicals.

0:01:43.5 Aaron: Read their documents. But the best superpower is actually flight.

[laughter]

0:01:49.4 Josh: Alright. Explain to me how fly, just because at that point it’s like, what does it matter if I win or lose this trial? I can fly my ass outta here and go explore the world and do whatever I want all the time ’cause I can fly.

0:02:06.7 Aaron: Exactly. That’s point number one.

0:02:08.0 Josh: And people are gonna pay me to fly for them.

0:02:11.4 Aaron: Exactly.

0:02:11.7 Josh: I can could fly with a banner behind my legs advertising. I wouldn’t have to practice law. It wouldn’t even matter.

[laughter]

0:02:20.6 Aaron: So not only that, Josh, but also, you’d win every trial, because like, you’d fly and the jury would be so impressed. It’s like…

0:02:32.8 Josh: The power of misdirection too. Yeah.

0:02:34.7 Aaron: Yeah. Just levitate while you’re making an argument. [laughter] It’s just, wow.

0:02:41.5 Josh: Hey everybody, I understand that opposing counsel’s talking over there. [laughter] but notice me suspended from the earth.

[laughter]

0:02:54.2 Aaron: I’m losing it, I’m not okay.

0:02:55.8 Josh: On my own volition.

[laughter]

0:03:00.0 Aaron: I’m not okay.

0:03:00.8 Josh: Now I’m turning in the air. My feet aren’t on the ground. Levitating, spinning around.

0:03:08.1 Aaron: How many times has a law student hit the 15 seconds forward button on our podcast so far [laughter] do you think? When is the law going to, when are they gonna, are they gonna talk about the law?

0:03:19.4 Josh: Do you think it was when I was hulking out earlier [laughter] or when I was levitating in the courtroom?

0:03:28.5 Aaron: Stopping time would be good.

0:03:29.7 Josh: That’s a good one.

0:03:30.9 Aaron: Lawyers are always pressed for time.

0:03:33.2 Josh: That’s a good one.

0:03:34.0 Aaron: We’re late for podcasts. We’re late for court.

0:03:37.3 Josh: You could can also stop time like you got opposing counsel, they’re like reading their argument to the judge and you could stop time and go over there with a sharpie and like rewrite it or mark it out. Replace the document with something else. That’s the one.

0:03:51.5 Aaron: Yeah. And you could go, the judge, after opposing counsel hands the document to the judge, you stop time. You write like the judge is a dumb dumb on the paper.

0:04:02.8 Josh: Oh yeah.

0:04:03.7 Aaron: You start time back again and you stand back. You just wait for that grenade to explode.

0:04:08.9 Josh: Yeah. Also, like you could walk up to the judge’s bench and write a note to him or her saying, you look very well put together and handsome today. And then like walk…

0:04:20.9 Aaron: Oh, hang on.

0:04:22.6 Josh: Love plaintiff’s counsel.

0:04:24.8 Aaron: Wait, why [laughter] do you need to stop time to do that? ‘Cause…

0:04:29.9 Josh: That’s fair.

0:04:31.0 Aaron: Pretty sure you…

0:04:32.0 Josh: Just go do it.

0:04:32.7 Aaron: Just go do it.

0:04:34.5 Josh: Judge, I need to approach the bench.

0:04:35.3 Aaron: But you don’t do that. Oh, by the way, law students who are listening, that’s how you do it.

[laughter]

0:04:40.9 Aaron: Whether or not you can stop time, go write the judge a love note.

0:04:45.1 Josh: Yeah. There’s all sorts of things that you could do with the stoppage of time.

0:04:47.8 Aaron: Yeah.

0:04:48.6 Josh: I mean, in general.

0:04:50.0 Aaron: Yeah. What superpowers do we already have that we take for granted? Just the ability to legal research. I mean, you’re like, no, I don’t wanna talk about that. I wanna talk about [laughter] hulking out.

0:05:11.6 Josh: I was thinking about my ability to like throw fireballs out of my hands. Should we talk about that?

0:05:17.9 Aaron: Fireball spiderwebs.

0:05:18.8 Josh: Yeah.

0:05:19.2 Aaron: You didn’t see that coming.

0:05:19.6 Josh: We can talk about that. That’s probably like my best superpower.

0:05:24.4 Aaron: Your best superpower is saying you’re not gonna be good at podcasting on a certain topic and then actually making me pee my pants while I’m here talking to you. So thank you for that. It’s been a great topic and I hope people got as much out of this as they expected.

0:05:41.5 Josh: You’re welcome. Cheers.

 

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